Be Uniquely You!

As the founder of http://millionairemoms.com it is part of my job description to get up in front of people to speak, educate & inspire. I love this yet it’s a new world to me.

I spent several days listening to a speaker who was a mix between Jim Carey & Tony Robbins.  He was a bit over the top for the more conservative folks but I found him endearing, funny & smart.  I realized after hearing the positive and negative comments on this speaker that you can’t please everyone.

I have decided I will be “uniquely” me in all aspects of millionairemoms.com. As such, this blog will evolve to show the silly side of Joyce as well as the seasoned entrepreneur. If I am going to work as hard as I do then I want to be surrounded by dynamic, fun loving entrepreneurs that love to laugh and get “me”!

If you know any good jokes then be sure to post it! I’m sure the community will appreciate some humor in there day.

Here’s a video that makes me laugh. These guys are from ATL.  It hits close to home in my world. I hope you like it too!

How NOT to Network

I just got home from a conference in San Francisco. I met a ton of people. The vast majority were wonderful but a few fell into this category!

Revolving Door Mentality

I have been very busy writing my book due out in Spring 2009.  Today as I typed away I added some thoughts from millionaire mom, Nancy Bogart from www.jordanessentials.com. She is an incredible mom and business woman.

At the beginning of her journey running her bath, body and spa business she found herself surprised whenever someone in her company left. She explained to me, “Not everyone will love your dream like you do. If you are the owner, you really do care more than anyone else.  It never occurred to me people who were with me in the beginning would ever leave.  I had to learn to get over how I felt when this happened. ”

She went on to say,  “There are seasons in life and ways of life.  A season of life is temporary and short term.  A way of life is confidence, strength, purpose and vision.  Seasons come and go, be sure to keep the main thing, the main thing, and that is Love.  Nothing is greater and strive to be loving to someone as they end a season with you. You never know what will happen in the future. A good friend once told me to have a revolving door on your business and life.  Let people come and go as long as it is healthy. Living life with this mentality will lead to an abundance of people in your life.”

I love the concept of a revolving door with relationships. Instead of burning bridges or passing judgement let’s  strive to understand everyone has different needs, wants and desires. This does not make them “wrong” for not seeing things your way. This is a beautiful metaphor. I hope you recall the next time you feel the sting of someone exiting your life whether in business or personally. Love abundantly and create rather than react. These are two things at the top of my to do list for 2009!

Go Daddy Insights for Entrepreneurs & Winners

I read this and thought it was worth posting. 

Bob Parsons – Founder of Go Daddy Group (www.GoDaddy.com)

1. Get and stay out of your comfort zone. I believe that not much happens of any significance when we’re in our comfort zone. I hear people say, “But I’m concerned about security.” My response to that is simple: “Security is for cadavers.”

2. Never give up. Almost nothing works the first time it’s attempted. Just because what you’re doing does not seem to be working, doesn’t mean it won’t work. It just means that it might not work the way you’re doing it. If it was easy, everyone would be doing it, and you wouldn’t have an opportunity.

3. When you’re ready to quit, you’re closer than you think. There’s an old Chinese saying that I just love, and I believe it is so true. It goes like this: “The temptation to quit will be greatest just before you are about to succeed.”

4. With regard to whatever worries you, not only accept the worst thing that could happen, but make it a point to quantify what the worst thing could be. Very seldom will the worst consequence be anywhere near as bad as a cloud of “undefined consequences.” My father would tell me early on, when I was struggling and losing my shirt trying to get Parsons Technology going, “Well, Robert, if it doesn’t work, they can’t eat you.”

5. Focus on what you want to have happen. Remember that old saying, “As you think, so shall you be.”

6. Take things a day at a time. No matter how difficult your situation is, you can get through it if you don’t look too far into the future, and focus on the present moment. You can get through anything one day at a time.

7. Always be moving forward. Never stop investing. Never stop improving. Never stop doing something new. The moment you stop improving your organization, it starts to die. Make it your goal to be better each and every day, in some small way. Remember the Japanese concept of Kaizen. Small daily improvements eventually result in huge advantages.

8. Be quick to decide. Remember what the Union Civil War general, Tecumseh Sherman said: “A good plan violently executed today is far and away better than a perfect plan tomorrow.”

9. Measure everything of significance. I swear this is true. Anything that is measured and watched, improves.

10. Anything that is not managed will deteriorate. If you want to uncover problems you don’t know about, take a few moments and look closely at the areas you haven’t examined for a while. I guarantee you problems will be there.

11. Pay attention to your competitors, but pay more attention to what you’re doing. When you look at your competitors, remember that everything looks perfect at a distance. Even the planet Earth, if you get far enough into space, looks like a peaceful place.

12. Never let anybody push you around. In our society, with our laws and even playing field, you have just as much right to what you’re doing as anyone else, provided that what you’re doing is legal.

13. Never expect life to be fair. Life isn’t fair. You make your own breaks. You’ll be doing good if the only meaning fair has to you, is something that you pay when you get on a bus (i.e., fare).

14. Solve your own problems. You’ll find that by coming up with your own solutions, you’ll develop a competitive edge. Masura Ibuka, the co-founder of SONY, said it best: “You never succeed in technology, business, or anything by following the others.” There’s also an old Asian saying that I remind myself of frequently. It goes like this: “A wise man keeps his own counsel.”

15. Don’t take yourself too seriously. Lighten up. Often, at least half of what we accomplish is due to luck. None of us are in control as much as we like to think we are.

16. There’s always a reason to smile. Find it. After all, you’re really lucky just to be alive. Life is short. More and more, I agree with my little brother. He always reminds me: “We’re not here for a long time; we’re here for a good time.”

Mom Entrepreneurs Are Like Sharks?

Have you ever wondered if you were an animal what type of animal you’d be? OK, maybe not but I have after observing a man with a dog that just seemed to have his essence. You’ve seen people who sorta ”go” with their animals. Here’s another couple of random questions: ”What would you name yourself if you could have picked your name?” ”What grade do you think your future son or daughter in law is in right now?” These are questions I have developed to zen myself in stressful situations (like the 35 minute wait at the post office yesterday). Read my post on happiness to gather more information on this subject. I have satisfactorily answered these riveting questions for myself. If you have any interesting or humorous ones to share by all means post it. We could all use a few more mental mini-vacations! 

My youngest sister came over last night for an impromptu visit. She unsolicited offered an answer to the “What kind of animal” question. It turns out I’d be considered a marine vertebrate (a/k/a “shark”).

She walked in the door with a bottle of wine. I shouted out, “Party is in the laundry room!” as I was folding clothes.  I am trained like Pavlov’s dog to the dryer. If I hear it beep I will race from wherever I am to get those clothes out and folded/hung. I don’t iron so its our clothes only hope of being presentable. Afterwards, she watched me feed the kids, answer questions about homework, discipline my 5 year old for walking on the coffee table barefoot. Besides being dangerous how do you explain footprints on a newly polished coffee table? I let the housekeeper go in an effort to force myself to train 3 boys how to keep a house. I created the tagline ”Team Bone” for ourselves to help build camaraderie for moments like this weekend when all five of us went nuts cleaning together. We scrubbed walls, toilets, the dog. Anything that was dirty got handled.

It was a typical night at our house-lots of activity. My husband is out of town so I had to handle it all. We normally ”divide and conquer” especially if I have a guest over. I started showing her various business projects I am working on one of which required a tv.  We went into my bedroom and she noted I was painting it and asked “Why?” I pointed to the nasty booger stain on the wall (Why use a tissue when you can use your mom’s bedroom wall?) and to the hole in the wall where the doorknob was smashed into the drywall after a particularly energetic burst of “Chase and kill your brother” spilled over into my room. The booger stain on the wall (which is gone now I promise) did it for my sister…she had a mouthful of red wine that darn near came out of her nose. She managed to spit it into the glass before rolling on the bed in peels of laughter. FYI and fair warning: I have a talent for making people shoot liquids out their face. In fact, I used to make my younger brother blow milk out his nose at least once a week at dinner with my stories. The Irish are known for their storytelling abilities. To this day he won’t drink milk around me. It was then that she said, “You know your like a shark. You are constantly moving.”  I am constantly moving. I wasn’t sure I wanted to fall into the shark category as they don’t conjure up a warm and fuzzy, do they? I’ve done my best not to encounter one since Jaws worked its psychological magic of keeping all kids born in the late 60’s and 70’s out of ocean water. However, there are some similarities between sharks and mompreneurs. They are constantly moving and so are we. They bounce on opportunity when presented and so do we. They will rip you to shreds if you threaten their young and so will we! According to Wikipedia, sharks are rarely observed mating…perhaps another similarity? lol! Of course, I like to think we are also like a warm puppy….you can read my earlier post on that one!

The Middle of Nowhere

“Mom, what does the middle of nowhere look like?” my five-year-old asked me the other day. The question made me laugh. I answered, “It depends on the person and where they are.”

 

I thought it was a good metaphor for the feeling s of doubt we all experience from time to time in any worthwhile activity. My “middle of nowhere” is where I am at today. I am on my chosen path and I know where I want to end up. I have a good road map in hand of what I think it takes to be successful. I am marching full steam ahead. 

 

However, every once in awhile that sneaky little devil called “doubt” dances into my head. It happens in those moments when I take my eye off the goal. “Where the heck am I? I’m in the middle of nowhere!” my mind thinks. 

 

Work, work, work with no end in sight and no promise of success. That can be intimidating to a mom with three kids who’s trying really hard to combine passion with income and a flexible schedule. I am a big believer in having it all, but still every once in awhile doubt sneaks in and I feel like I am in “the middle of nowhere”. I realize it is my inner chicken speaking so I let the thought pass right on through and just dive back in Before you know it, the feeling fades. Another milestone is achieved. 

 

You are not alone. It’s okay to be afraid sometimes, and to have doubt. It’s human nature. It’s what you choose to do—or not do—with that fear that ultimately separates the successful from the not so successful. The next time you feel you are in your version of the “middle of nowhere”, take heart and know you are not alone. The moms at www.millionairemoms.com understand. We all have doubts from time to time, and we are here to support you! 

Happiness Is A Warm Puppy

Remember the Charlie Brown happiness book? You know, the one with Lucy on the front hugging Snoopy? I love that book. I still own it actually. The book  summarizes life and what it takes to be happy. In case you don’t remember this little jewel here is a few ”happiness” entries:

Happiness is an “A” on your spelling test. Happiness is finding someone you like at your front door. Happiness is sleeping in your own bed. Happiness is getting together with friends. Happiness is climbing a tree (little known Joyce fact: I am the 1974 tree climbing champion of 8 Joseph Ave). Happiness is lots of birthday candles (OK, I’m starting to have a love/hate thing with this one). Happiness is one thing to one person and another thing to another person. Why don’t you take a moment and think about what simple things make you truly happy? Not happy? Hug a warm puppy like the book says. I sometimes think we over complicate things when its really the simple stuff in life that brings lasting joy.

Marci Shimoff has a great book out on happiness called “Happy For No Reason”. She studied happiness in great detail in order to write her book. Apparently, we all have happy set points:

50% is genetic, 10% is your circumstances and 40% of your habit of thoughts and behavior.

Marci asked her father what his best advice is and he said, “Honey, just be happy.” We can choose our reactions to life’s circumstances. It boils down to focus. I have worked diligently on this for years. I used to be really impatient. My mom says I have one speed: fast! If I had to deal with slow people I would feel my blood boiling. These days I control my reaction. I now think, “These people were put here to be slow in front of me for a reason. I wonder what it is?” Or, I use their slowness as a five minute little mini-vacation for myself. The mental shift helps me cope and keeps me happy. Again, its focus.

Albert Schweitzer, 1952 Nobel Peace Prize winner for his “reverence for life” said, “Happiness is the key to success.” I agree with him. If you are not happy then what’s the point? Spend the time necessary to assess where you are at. There are the day to day annoyances like driving behind a slow poke and then there are the bigger choices we make that might need realignment. Where do you stand? It will pay off in increased health, longevity, relationships and success if you proactively correct what might be wrong. As we mature we sometimes realize we went down the wrong path that no longer works for us. This can lead to the need for drastic actions to correct the situation which is uncomfortable and frankly, scary sometimes. In the end though, if you are brave  and committed to living your ideal life you will risk the actions necessary. Its not always easy but in the end its the right thing to do. Life is too short to live it half way!

Mom Entrepreneurs Its Time To Get Off the Struggle Bus!

“The struggle bus”. I heard that term recently and it made me laugh. Can you relate? We all know people that seem to have a permanent seat on it! Let’s admit it, sometimes we ourselves are on it. Why? Well some people are just not that bright. The same mistake is repeated over and over. When I encounter people in this category it reminds me of watching a fly bounce off a window pane trying desperately to get outside. It seems to think if they try just one more time the end result will change which of course, it doesn’t. I’m not thinking you fall into that category since you are smart enough to seek insight from blogs like this one. 

For go-getter’s like us the struggle bus can present itself in a variety of ways: procrastination, lost documents because the power went off and you forgot to save it along the way, a CPA who won’t call you back, kids not co-operating. You get the idea! If you can identify areas in which you consistently struggle you can create and place systems in your life to overcome them. For example, I have a bookkeeper coming in to help me get better organized with all the financial details. I hate that stuff. However, its a fact of life the government wants their money. I am going to create a system to overcome my reluctance to deal with this aspect of business.

What areas do you struggle with that can benefit from a system? If you are a clutter bug head over to my friend Lorie Marerro’s site www.clutterdiet.com. She is a master organizer and can help you out big time! If its staying on a diet or eating right you can head over to www.caloriecheckbook.com. I use that site whenever I feel “puffy” (whenever an extra couple of pounds trying to sneak up on me) and track myself for a week until I feel fit and strong again. You get the idea! Otherwise, you will be getting on the bus and paying the fare my friend!

You think you had a bad day? At least you weren’t kidnapped!

I interview moms everyday who fall under three categories: millionaire moms,  experts in their field or moms with amazing stories. Today, I interviewed a lady that has an amazing story, Michelle Renee from Women Who Dream Big.

Michelle grew up in an abusive environment. Her Dad was physical with her mother and with her. As a result, she ran away from home as a teenager. At times she was homeless, other times she slept on friend’s couches. She managed to overcome these challenges and by age thirty she was a successful bank employee. In the middle of the night she was yanked out of her bed by intruders who kidnapped her and her daughter. They were bank robbers who had been stalking her for two months to figure out her patterns! They duct taped her 7 year old and said they would kill her if Michelle didn’t rob the bank for them. Needless to say, Michelle robbed the bank. Thank God they kept their word and released her and her daughter.

What I found fascinating about this story was her response to the experience. Let’s face it, between her upbringing and this horrific event she could have rolled up in a ball. Instead, she got in touch with her faith and decided to be an excellent role model for her 7 year old. She would not turn into a bitter, angry person. She started Women Who Dream Big as a way to reach out to other women and young girls who have been traumatized. Her daughter is now a teenager and is doing very well. Michelle is truly an inspiration.

The next time you are feel like the world is ganging up on you think about Michelle. The world can throw some crap on you but its your response to the events that make all the difference. You are a winner so be sure you respond as one!

You can check Michelle out at www.michelle-renee.com

Focus & Flexibility

As a mom and entrepreneur we must consistently exhibit laser focus to achieve work goals. After all, work at home moms are typically limited to the hours our children are napping or are at school.  You must learn to focus on the 3 activities each day that hands down move your business ahead the furthest. Busy work does not count. We all have busy work. The successful among overcome this and stay focused on growth. If you aren’t sure what those tasks are here is a hint: whatever makes the cash register ring! 

Flexibility is another key trait for the working mom. This can apply to your home life as much as your work life. I was looking forward to a three mile run the other day. I headed out the door and my five year old trailed me saying he wanted to go jogging with me. Frankly, I wanted the time alone. He seemed so earnest though so I said, “ok, but its three miles, no stopping”. His attitude was “game on”. He made it to the end of the street and started walking but by then he had wormed his way into my heart like he always does. Do you know people like that? No matter what they do they always seem to wiggle back in to good graces? I do! Anyway, it turned into a 1.5 mile walk holding hands and chatting. I got a big “I love you so much mom” mid-way through the walk. By remaining flexible I had an even better end result than a jog: a happy moment with my youngest son. The point is life throws curve balls constantly. We can be rigid and stick to our agenda. This typically causes unhappiness and stress. Alternatively, we can learn to be like water flowing in a creek constantly moving around whatever objects it encounters. Let’s experience the unexpected and find the good in it. Let’s be water!

I have been thrown several curve balls since starting my websites. I’ve had to employ sugar, spice referenced in the last blog post, flexibility and focus to make progress. I have had setbacks, obstacles and challenges just like you. For me, flexibility, focus and faith will pull you through any tough times you may encounter juggling family and business. If you keep the reasons why you started your business in the forefront of your mind you will find all the focus and flexibility you need to make it a success!