Overcoming Fear

Nature has instilled fear in us as a protective mechanism. As a child I was fearful that an alligator lived under my bed at night. If I got out of bed it might get me. I learned over time that particular fear was completly false. As a teenager I was on diving team for five years. I was a powerful athlete but not the most graceful. The Coach had me dive the high board. Many people are fearful to even jump at this height. In order to go to state competition I was doing 2.5 pike front flips off of it. Was I fearful? You better believe it! I chose to over ride nature’s protective mechanism and turn fear into exhilaration. Fortunately for me I survived.

 

As a new mom I brought home a son that was in ICU for a week. He had tubes coming out of his head the day we left the hospital. I was terrified as they wheeled me out the door and burst into tears when a neighbor came over to admire the baby. I was an emotional mess. This fear had a hold of me for awhile. Could I take care of my child? I overcame it one day at a time and now that baby is a handsome, thriving 13 year old “man boy” as I affectionately call him. 

 

My 41 year old brother died of lung cancer this year within six months of being diagnosed. I held him in my arms as he passed.  I watched my parents come in the room and fall apart. A parent’s worst fear realized. This experience taught me the preciousness of life and how the choices we make on a daily basis do matter. You are where you are today because of the decisions you made in the past. What do you want your future to look like? If you don’t like what you see in the mirror then start choosing alternative actions for a different result. Step back and see what you like, what you need to change and consider where you would like to be  in the future. Clarity is a powerful antidote to fear. My brother made the decision to smoke and he paid the ultimate price for it. There is always a lesson to be learned from all experiences. It’s important to take the gift left behind no matter how painful. He taught me to overcome fear because life is short and to strive to make good daily decisions. 

 

As a business woman I eat fear for breakfast. I relish it. I look forward to it. It’s a gift. It is when we are fearful that we experience the most growth both professionally and personally.  

 

Have you ever heard the acronym F.E.A.R? ”False evidence appearing real”. We tend to psych ourselves out rather than acknowledge fear is typically our ”inner chicken” surfacing. The vast majority of what we worry about never even happens. What a waste of energy! More likely, if you peel back the layers many fears have their root in a fear of potential rejection. No one enjoys being rejected. However, we can reframe that thought. 

 

If there is something you want but are too fearful to bring yourself to ask you are already rejected. Your current state is “no” because you do not have the courage to ask for what you want. If you go for it and put the request to the person in a position to help two things can happen (1) they can say “no” in which case your current situation hasn’t changed except now you know the answer to whether that person can or will help you or (2) you get what you seek. Congratulations! Doesn’t that feel fantastic?! Now you have accomplished the desired result and your self esteem gets a nice little boost as a perk. Most business results are statistical in nature. If you are trying to sell something you may have to talk to 10 people to get one “yes”. Let’s say that “yes” is worth $1,000 in your pocket. Why don’t you consider viewing the 9 “no’s” being worth $100 a piece in your pocket? Do you see what I am trying to get across? Success is what happens in that gray matter between your ears. You must train your brain to not be a drain!

 

I strive to approach all interactions with a servant’s heart. The world will bless a giver in more ways than just financial gain. Fear cannot hold back a person who is striving to do good in the world. It just is not an option. 

At the beginning of a new venture, or really with any decision that must be made, ask yourself ”What’s the worst that can happen?”. If you can live with the worst case than go for it! We all stumble and fall sometimes. Just fix what you can and move on. It’s all in the attitude my friend.